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Are you serious? Why are you doing this?
Yes, yes we are. We dont really know why. I think the question is,
why are you doing this? Hmm?
Woah. Lol. This site is like, totally, rad and kewl lol. Can I join? An
b like a co-founder wit u guyz? Lol coz this website is like so.. me. I think it's actually more me than I am... Lol. ~~xxx~~
No. Keep your grubby, thieving, hippy hands to yourself. Go
find your own Big Project. And learn to spell.
| Hey it's you |
|
| Get back in your VW Van |
Jesus Christ. This site is highly disturbing. Its people
like you that spoil it for everyone else. The internet should be a rich tool used for educational purposes only. As a paying
websurfer you are actually wasting my money by even existing. You don't deserve to live. If I moan enough will you delete
this site?
No. Get a job, you truffle-hunting swamp donkey.
Who is your least favourite sportsperson?
Tim Henman. The personification of beige.
| Henbo the manchild |
|
| Don't celebrate it, Tim |
What is your favourite colour?
Puce.
These questions are ridiculous. Nobody asks them frequently.
You can't prove anything.
What are you going to do when The List reaches number 412?
We plan to present our list to the lovely Edward Monkton. And then attempt to fill the gaping, penguin-shaped
hole in our lonely lives. Possibly by releasing our debut compilation, "NOW.. thats what I call bumming" ... a collection
of songs Lois would like to bum Anna to. Including hit records from such popular artists as Hanson, Edvard Grieg, N*Sync,
Cher and Flat Eric.
| Edvard Gieg, our favourite Norwegian |
|
| What a beast |
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Because they are minions of The Penguin of Death. His dirty, dirty spies. Especially pigeons - aka "the
gutterbirds" or "the rats of the sky". They will bring you down. Trust no-one.
| Feathery scum |
|
| It hates your sense of humour |
How many penguins does it take to change a lightbulb?
....Shit you.
Are you lesbians?
No. Although Lois will bum most things for comedy value, she's not that picky. She just pursues Anna because
she enjoys the thrill of the chase (and the looks of pure terror that result from her advances).
What is the meaning of life?
To eat as many pies as possible. Then you will explode and many small animals will eat the pie. Thus
the circle of life continues..
Is The Penguin really just a fat, balding old man in a costume? Does he get drunk on his own,
at home? Does he just take his rage out on the world because he has no-one to love him and hand him toast when he wants it?
Doesn't he deserve our sympathy?
No. You're thinking of Father Christmas.
| Good old santa |
|
| He loves dogs |
Will The Penguin stalk me if I wear salmon-flavoured kippers in my pants, shoes and socks?
You're a fish related pervert. Congratulations. We need your kind of fresh thinking around here. Welcome
aboard.
How often does The Penguin shave and with which utensils?
He likes to start off his shaving routine with a gently exfoliating facial scrub from the 'Simple for
Men' range. Then comes the shaving foam of the same line, and he's ready for Razor City - it's a one way ticket! The Penguin
prefers the Mach 3 Turbo model for a smoother shave. The whole routine is rounded off by some Old Spice aftershave and then
he's fully prepared for the ladieeees.
Hey, didn't this FAQ start off being about you two, not the Penguin?
Yes. But, as with everything, The Penguin stealthily took over like the monster He is.
Which is The Penguin's favourite of the hit records by Elvis Presley?
'Blue suede shoes'.
| Yeahhh |
|
| He is your greasy greasy hero |
Which kind of pencil does he prefer, HB or 2B?
While The Penguin enjoys the firmness of the classic HB, he can't help being drawn to its softer cousin
the 2B. He is something of an artist and does enjoy making some amateur sketches when not killing people.
What is His shampoo of choice?
Vosene.
You're just being silly now, aren't you?
Yes. Yes we are.
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