Hello. My name is Anna. As I predicted, The Big Penguin Project has spiralled out
of control, like a mad spiralling spiral of doom. It's worrying but I've decided to set up its own website to try and cope
with the situation.
It all started a long, long time...
On the 29th April, 2004, I bought a very amusing card from a card shop. This was
an Edward Monkton card, proudly displaying a picture of The Penguin of Death (above). As we all know, the Penguin is strangely attractive because
of his enigmatic smile, and can kill you in any 1 of 412 ways. This was all well and good. Until I bumped into Lois.
Lois - Why, what do you have there, Anna?
Anna - This is a card about The Penguin of Death, Lois.
Lois - The Penguin of Death, you say?
Anna- Yes.
Lois - Intriguing
Anna - Isn't it?
Lois- I know. Let's list the 412 ways it can kill you.
Anna - Haha. How amusing that list will be. And not annoying or scary in any way.
But how very wrong I was...
I laughed carelessly and handed it over, little aware of the impending penguin
doom that would soon take over my life. The card was passed around. And around. It circled the group. And then the common
room. It can't be stopped. The list is growing and growing and who knows where this will end... Most likely at number 412.
I would like to point out that although I have myself added to the list and from
time to time find it amusing, I retain my right to be bitter about the whole affair.
Lois, all this is your fault. Anything to say for yourself?
*Enter Lois*
*Slight puzzled face*
...Shit you.
*Moves ears in unison*
*A shout is heard from the distance*... "Holy Mother of God and her many wacky nephews! There's
a nut in her cup!"
*Pause*
*Exit Lois*
... I think the rest will explain itself...
